Kindness Returns

Diego lived 6 months in foster care with Magan while his mother worked on a plan to get him back.

And when the day finally came, Diego’s mother pulled Magan into an extended hug and wept.

“She would not let me go,” Magan says, laughing at the memory. “I could not get out of that hug if I wanted to. She was saying thank you, thank you, thank you – just very, very thankful that he was with me.”

That’s the part of foster care Magan wishes more people could see: The part where families can be put back together. Where birth parents and foster parents have worked together for the good of the child.

Because foster care is hard; long separations and missed milestones are painful for parents and their children.

And while some may think parents deserve to miss the special – or even ordinary – moments of their children’s lives in foster care, Magan sees it another way:

“No one is perfect,” she says.
“I try to come from a nonjudgmental place
and do what’s best for the kids.”

In Diego’s case, that meant giving comfort when he sat up in bed for hours, unable to sleep at night. It meant loving and proving to him that she’d always show up. And it meant helping his mother, Marisol, feel close to him by sending photos, updates, and pieces of his artwork.

Magan was fairly new to foster parenting when Diego came to her. She’d learned from training that it’s easier on everyone – adults and children – to have a supportive, sharing relationship with the birth family, especially when it’s time to be reunified.

She took this lesson to heart. And then – once Diego was back at home – all of the kindness she’d extended to Marisol flowed back to her. Because Marisol was the one sending photos and updates.

“She was returning everything I had done for her,” Magan says. “It was really sweet.”