Category: Uncategorized

Helping grandparents adopt after tragedy

The 2½-year-old girl survived a car crash that killed her little brother and sent her mother to prison for 10 years. Her father left town after that.

Life wasn’t stable before the accident – her parents had addictions and housing problems – but it was all Julia knew and loved, and it was one in one day. Family preservation specialist Sarah Braswell was called in to help her grandparents prepare to adopt.

“By this time, Julia was in kindergarten and her grandparents desperately wanted to raise her and keep her safe, but they were having trouble setting boundaries. She’d been through such a horrible, tragic experience and they didn’t want to say ‘no’ to her. They just lavished her. And while that may sound like an ideal way to live – like a fantasy – in reality children need stability, and stability requires structure and boundaries. The grandparents needed to be able to say, ‘We love you, but you’re the child and we’re the grownups. We’ll guide you in the correct direction.’

“So I worked with them to teach some basic parenting skills, like how to discipline and offer choices, and they were able to adopt Julia in August. This case really touched me because I stayed with my grandparents when I was her age. My situation was different – my sister was battling cancer, so my mom was at the hospital and my dad was working to pay the bills – but Grandma and Grandpa were my surrogate parents. “To be able to help these grandparents learn how to love Julia appropriately and create a relationship they can maintain through her life – that was a blessing.”

WHAT IS FAMILY PRESERVATION? One-on-one coaching for families to prevent or minimize foster care placements of their children

Summertime. It’s that magical time of year when the pressure is off, and a kid can be a kid.

It’s a chance to relax, explore, learn – and create happy memories that last.

But what if your summer is a stretch of empty days, confined indoors?

Children come to us having never experienced the joy of a summer adventure. They’ve never been on a trip. They’re never been to camp. They have not seen the ocean, much less learned to sail. They’re never ridden a horse or learned to fish.

Together, we can give these children a summer to remember. How would you like to help?

SUMMER COOL-OFF ice cream party or boat ride at the lake $50
SUMMER STAPLES swim lessons, art lessons, or day camp $100
SUMMER DASH church camp, sports camp, or DC day trip $250
SUMMER GETAWAY baseball game & pizza night for a group home $500
SUMMER TRADITION one week at sleep-away camp $1,000

When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the child leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit and exclaimed with a loud cry, ‘Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb.’ ” Luke 1:41-42

I have long thought that our habit of calling the gestation period “expecting” is defiantly inaccurate. If we were accurate, we would call it “no real idea what to expect.” While we hope and pray for a child who is healthy and whole, the full truth is that every pregnancy is fraught with danger and the lives of every birth mother and every child in utero are at risk every time.

Our defiant inaccuracy causes us to romanticize the beauty of the pregnant mother and ignore the nausea and vomiting, the varicose veins, the oft attendant anemia or gestational diabetes. Our defiant dreams race forward to what the child growing within may be. We defiantly limit the moments of clarity and candor acknowledging that birth defects are real and that all children are not born academically, athletically, or artistically gifted.

We celebrate the meeting of older cousin Elizabeth and younger cousin Mary, both most unexpectedly pregnant. When reading that the child who was to become John the Baptist leaped, my heart leaps also. As Elizabeth pronounces benediction upon Mary and the fruit of her womb, Jesus, I give joyous thanks.

The paradox of this season of Advent, our time of expectancy, is that we already know the end of their individual stories. We live with stubborn defiance that in the middle of our chaotic, broken, and – as John and Jesus will sadly soon see – brutal world, hope is not defeated. Even in the midst of pain we defiantly celebrate pregnancy. Our hopes and dreams are not restrained or contained by reason or logic. The Lord of Love is about to come into our midst and come with forgiveness, fullness, and the gift of life eternal. The facts of life yield to faith in Christ.

Let us pray, with defiant inaccuracy, “Lord, come. Be born to us.”

Read Advent Week 1
Read Advent Week 2
Read Advent Week 3
Advent Week 4

CLICK HERE to watch Kevin and Susan read their list … with a little help from Jamie and Alexis

#10 Love is not a finite resource. We all have plenty to go around.

#9 A preschooler rolling her eyes at a teenager is both hilarious and character-building!

#8 The network of foster families in Pitt County and Eastern North Carolina is wonderful – they have challenged us to be better people.

#7 Some things are easier the 4^th and 5^th time around (and some things are not)

#6 You get a front-seat view into the lives of social workers, foster care workers, guardians ad litem, lawyers, and judges who work tirelessly for the safety and security of all children. It is hard to imagine more selfless, challenging, yet rewarding jobs.

#5 Littles make Christmas really fun!

#4 You’ll become more grateful.

#3 Preschoolers are excellent birth control (especially for teens).

#2 The blessings you receive will far exceed the effort you give.

#1 Sleep is overrated.