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Daniel & Hazel

Photography by Chalice

DANIEL, AGE 8
HAZEL, AGE 5

Lindsay and Robbie arrived a few minutes early. They were understandably nervous and – this is important – they wanted to be the first to arrive. They claimed a spot in the lobby and watched the door. Every time a family with two children came in they wondered: Is that them? Are these the ones?

Lindsay and Robbie were at Marbles Museum in Raleigh; they were waiting to meet two foster children who had just become eligible for adoption. They hadn’t seen a picture of the kids and were unsure of their ages. “All we knew,” Lindsay says, “is that it would be a boy and a girl. We honestly didn’t know if they were white or black – we didn’t care about that sort of stuff, so we never asked.”

And then Daniel and Hazel walked in with their foster parents – and Lindsay and Robbie say they just knew. “I started tearing up,” says Lindsay. “I said, ‘That’s them and I already love them.’ ” Robbie said the same thing and together they walked over to introduce themselves.

Fast forward two years.

Now they are a close-knit family of four people and three dogs. Daniel’s in second grade, Hazel just started kindergarten. And even though their lives are full with school, camp, and family outings, they all dream of one day living on a farm. Deep cords of love – present before they met – hold them together. The only dissent came on adoption day.

As papers were signed and the seal put in place, the judge asked Hazel if everything looked right. Her answer was quick and clear: No.

Pointing to her new last name and she said, “This is all wrong. My name should be Unicorn Princess. Hazel Unicorn Princess.”

God bless the child.

Josh

Marc Ridel Creative
Josh, 9 These are the things that make Josh happy: Trips to Bojangles’ for Bo-Berry biscuits; afternoons riding his scooter at the park; routines like haircuts with Dad, making breakfast with Mom, reading together at bedtime. Josh came to Amy and Richard at age 7, a zombie-fighting, Hot Wheels-racing, noisy burst of boyish energy – who guarded his heart and craved a family. “Josh desperately wanted a mom and a dad,” Amy says. “He would give up playing with his most favorite toy just to receive undivided attention from us.” So they folded him into their lives – parents Amy and Richard, sisters Brianna and Alyssa – and gave him a family that will be his forever. “We cannot imagine life without him,” Richard says.

Quinn

His family shut him out but he is forging ahead

When he was 15 Quinn was a smart, well-liked 10th grader – active in his school’s athletics and clubs. That changed in an instant when he did something irrational and impulsive. No amount of regret could undo it and Quinn ended up in court.

A week later, Quinn was sent to one of our crisis & assessment centers and 30 days after that, he was accepted into our transitional living program. And this is where Quinn’s story turns.

Cast off by his parents, Quinn took control of his life. He accepted responsibility for what he did, made amends as best he could, and decided to move forward.

Now, barely 17, Quinn has graduated from high school and started college. He works full time at a restaurant, but he’s struggling. When he realized how difficult it would be to work, make ends meet, and succeed in college, he enlisted in the Army. There he plans to continue his education and train for a career in cyber security.

Everyone has a back story, everyone makes mistakes. But Quinn has learned he can rise above his worst moment and create a life worth living – and worth sharing.

What is transitional living?

     A residential program that prepares court-involved teens for their transition into adulthood by teaching them to live independently

Life 101

She shows kids a wider world in books and theater

Imagine for a moment that you are the teacher at one of our multipurpose homes. The kids who live here are between the ages of 10 and 17 and they all have multiple juvenile offenses. As the teacher, you know they need academic help – but they also need life help. Many of them are in trouble because they’ve never been shown a life worth living. So, what do you do?

If you’re Lovey Steinert, you show them compassion and you show them a life beyond their back door. You introduce them to books and theater – even when they grumble about it – because there’s something magical about seeing a story come to life on the stage, and it often takes them by surprise.

“Some of them get really, really into it,” Lovey says. “One boy in class was reading the part of Jonathan in Arsenic and Old Lace with this deep, intense voice. He was better than the actor we saw in the play.”

Lovey knew early in her teaching career that she wanted to work with these kids – the ones with the “problem” label. She could see the insecurity in their behaviors and she knew the ways childhood had hurt them. Something in them reminds her of herself as a kid growing up without her own mother, an only child slamming doors, blasting her radio, and escaping into books.

But she had an advantage – a father who gave her stability and love – and some of our kids don’t get that at home.

“We just read the quote from To Kill a Mockingbird, when Atticus says you don’t understand a person until you crawl into his skin. I guess that sums up why I do it,” Lovey says. “I put myself in the place of the kids and connect with them to be the support they need.”

WHAT IS A MULTIPURPOSE HOME? A group home for kids (ages 10-17) whose repeat offenses are leading them toward more serious involvement in the juvenile justice or adult corrections system

Good begins in her kitchen

A Benevolent Table

While others her age were kicking back with a Teen Beat or Sassy magazine, 13-year-old Jill Sergison was studying Martha Stewart Living and Miss Manners. Entertaining is in her DNA; cooking is her love language.

So it makes perfect sense that hospitality is her go-to for giving back.

Every few months, Jill opens her Durham home to paying guests for a cooking lesson, a shared meal, and an opportunity to do good. The dinner series is called A Benevolent Table, and it raises money for charities including Methodist Home for Children.

“A Benevolent Table is about coming together, learning how to make delicious food, having some drinks, making new friends, enjoying a delicious dinner,” Jill says. “But it’s also about using this bounty and community for good.”

The idea came to Jill after her husband, Peter, was diagnosed with stage IV non-Hodgkin lymphoma a couple of years ago. The news was devastating to their family of four – but the response from friends, and even people Jill didn’t know that well, was immediate and overwhelming.

Within hours, they loaded her countertops and refrigerator with meals that kept coming for months.

The love and care represented by all that food – shared with her family at its most vulnerable time – was an enormous comfort. And while sharing a meal with friends or strangers has always felt like an act of faith to her, A Benevolent Table has created a way for Jill to give thanks and give back by doing something she loves.

HAVE AN IDEA? Writing a check is great, but sometimes it’s more fun to give as a group or through a project you love. Talk to us at [email protected].

Myles & Mia

Marc Ridel Creative

MYLES, AGE 8
MIA, AGE 6

A few years ago, they might have laughed at the idea. They definitely would have called it crazy.

But Tabitha and David couldn’t see then what they see now: How their hearts and home would stretch to make room for five children under the age of 9.

Tabitha and David adopted their first two children in September – a brother-sister pair, 8-year-old Myles and 6-year-old Mia. And when September rolls around again, they expect to have adopted another sibling group – by then ages 6, 5, and 4.

Let that sink in.

In the span of one year, this couple is adopting five children, ages 8, 6, 6, 5, and 4. That’s a 3rd grader, two 1st graders, a kindergartener, and a preschooler. In eight years, four of them will be in middle school at the same time, with one ahead in high school.

Myles and Mia came to this Franklin County foster home in May 2016 after their mother left them with friends and never came back. Social services tried twice to place them with relatives, first in Wilmington and then in Georgia, but neither option worked out. By the time it became clear Myles and Mia had no other family to help, Tabitha and David were parenting a second group of siblings already on track for adoption.

So the decision was made, no discussion needed. Tabitha and David would adopt all five of their foster children – Myles and Mia, plus three others we’ll introduce in the fall

Halie, Ryan, & Madison

 

Lorreen and Dan and their two sons were relocating to North Carolina. They were house hunting and, like all homebuyers, had a checklist of features. The house had to accommodate their mobility – both sons have spina bifida and wheelchairs are their primary mode of transportation. And it had to be big. They were a family of four, but Lorreen and Dan had decided to become foster parents.

When they found a house they liked, they prayed together and looking up, they both just knew. Dan spoke first. “We’re going to live here. And we’re going to get three kids.” Lorreen responded, “Two girls and a boy.” And so their story begins.

HALIE, AGE 15
RYAN, AGE 12
MADISON, AGE 11

The kids are arm wrestling in the front room. When Halie is pinned, she calls out “Whoopsie-daisy!” and her laughter fills the air. Anyone who has known her longer than a year knows this is nothing short of a miracle.

Lorreen and Dan met Halie two years ago when she came to their home for a one-week respite visit. They knew she had hemiparesis, or left-side weakness, a result of a congenital brain disorder and they knew this limited her ability to communicate. But they didn’t know how much pain she had.

She was terrified of Dan, all men really, because of abuse she suffered while living with her biological mother. She couldn’t regulate her emotions or make attachments. She felt loss and confusion at being separated from her home, her mother, her aunt, and two siblings. And because she could communicate none of this, she raged.

It would be great to say that Lorreen and Dan loved her through it, but that doesn’t tell the full story. They loved her, yes, but they also gave her a safe home, medical interventions, consistency, and stability. She improved, then thrived. And it was at that point Lorreen and Dan learned Halie had a brother and sister, each living in a different foster home.

“When I heard this,” Dan says, “I just looked at Lorreen and said, ‘We can’t let these kids separate.’ ” Soon they were visiting one weekend a month; then two. They would play together before returning to their foster homes. Over time, the siblings became comfortable together and with Lorreen and Dan and their two sons. And then the phone rang.

“Methodist Home for Children called and asked if we would be a family to all three,” Dan says. “And I replied, ‘Abso-fricking-lutely.’ ”

Last December, the teens were adopted in a ceremony uniquely styled for this family. Halie brought her baby doll, who was also officially adopted – and they unapologetically laughed and cheered. They had  come a long way and were joyously committing to a lifetime of family.

Que and Isaiah

This is how it looks to adopt: This is adoption day for Que, 6, and Isaiah, 5, who lived more than 4 ½ years in foster care with Gary and Kathy. Please share your words of encouragement and congratulations in the reply field below – the family will enjoy.

You may never have been to an actual adoption ceremony so here’s a tip: If you ever attend one … bring tissue.

Last month, when Kathy and Gary officially adopted their two boys, EVERYONE was so happy, they cried. The mom, the dad, all of the extended family members present, the entire MHC team, the social worker, the attorney, and yes, even the presiding clerk. It was just that kind of morning. We believe that every child deserves a chance – and happily, joyfully, with tears in our eyes, we celebrate with this new family.

What Matters Most

They roll in to give what matters most When you’re away from home – and you can’t go home – a team of mother figures shows up at the door to give you some love. And you realize then, no matter what mistakes you made, someone is out there rooting for you.

Meet the Swansboro United Methodist Women.

From 45 minutes south, they drive caravan-style up Highway 17 to deliver comfort and encouragement to the boys at our Craven transitional living home: prize bags for field day, gift cards for Christmas, holiday comfort food, birthday cards, valentines, Easter lunch, pizza, wooly hats, homemade cookies.

And they want you to know something: They receive as much as they give.

“It’s not a matter of just giving,” says Marilyn Boyce. “Because when people give, it puts them in a superior position and, while we’re older than these children, this is a matter of
reciprocation. They give to us in ways they probably don’t really know.”

A couple of years ago, the Craven boys painted a serving platter with hearts and confetti colors; they glazed and fired it, and they gave it to the Swansboro women. That platter comes out at every single circle meeting – second Wednesday of the month – as a reminder of their friendship.

“We see so much hope in them,” says Gay Licko. “We get to share a little in the plans for their future. We are allowed to be part of it, and we feel welcomed.”

Isaiah

 

Two years ago, Mandy and Doug announced to friends that they were going to be foster parents. Their license had been approved, and they wondered what “mystery kids,” as their daughter, Darian, called them, would come.

Would they get a boy or a girl? Maybe a toddler, maybe a middle-schooler? Would it be one child or a sibling group? Tomorrow or months away?

It was exciting to think about, but bittersweet too. Before cancer took 5-year-old Denny, their son and brother, a liver transplant from another child had extended his life. They knew, as they poured their hopes and prayers into saving Denny, that someone else was grieving the unthinkable. Their own loss would come two years later.

Now they were preparing their hearts to love – and possibly lose – a child carrying his or her own grief, and they wondered what it would be. Loss of parents, home, siblings, school? What else?

Their mystery kid, it turns out, is named Isaiah.

Born into foster care, Isaiah was living in his third home, heading to his fourth, on that November day when Mandy and Doug announced their plans to foster. They would become his fifth and final home – a permanent family for a boy who loves soccer, running fast, holiday decorating, raking leaves, and visiting the beach. Isaiah’s adoption was completed in May.