Author: Jeannie Norris

Lorreen and Dan and their two sons were relocating to North Carolina. They were house hunting and, like all homebuyers, had a checklist of features. The house had to accommodate their mobility – both sons have spina bifida and wheelchairs are their primary mode of transportation. And it had to be big. They were a family of four, but Lorreen and Dan had decided to become foster parents.

When they found a house they liked, they prayed together and looking up, they both just knew. Dan spoke first. “We’re going to live here. And we’re going to get three kids.” Lorreen responded, “Two girls and a boy.” And so their story begins.

HALIE, AGE 15
RYAN, AGE 12
MADISON, AGE 11

The kids are arm wrestling in the front room. When Halie is pinned, she calls out “Whoopsie-daisy!” and her laughter fills the air. Anyone who has known her longer than a year knows this is nothing short of a miracle.

Lorreen and Dan met Halie two years ago when she came to their home for a one-week respite visit. They knew she had hemiparesis, or left-side weakness, a result of a congenital brain disorder and they knew this limited her ability to communicate. But they didn’t know how much pain she had.

She was terrified of Dan, all men really, because of abuse she suffered while living with her biological mother. She couldn’t regulate her emotions or make attachments. She felt loss and confusion at being separated from her home, her mother, her aunt, and two siblings. And because she could communicate none of this, she raged.

It would be great to say that Lorreen and Dan loved her through it, but that doesn’t tell the full story. They loved her, yes, but they also gave her a safe home, medical interventions, consistency, and stability. She improved, then thrived. And it was at that point Lorreen and Dan learned Halie had a brother and sister, each living in a different foster home.

“When I heard this,” Dan says, “I just looked at Lorreen and said, ‘We can’t let these kids separate.’ ” Soon they were visiting one weekend a month; then two. They would play together before returning to their foster homes. Over time, the siblings became comfortable together and with Lorreen and Dan and their two sons. And then the phone rang.

“Methodist Home for Children called and asked if we would be a family to all three,” Dan says. “And I replied, ‘Abso-fricking-lutely.’ ”

Last December, the teens were adopted in a ceremony uniquely styled for this family. Halie brought her baby doll, who was also officially adopted – and they unapologetically laughed and cheered. They had  come a long way and were joyously committing to a lifetime of family.

This is how it looks to adopt: This is adoption day for Que, 6, and Isaiah, 5, who lived more than 4 ½ years in foster care with Gary and Kathy. Please share your words of encouragement and congratulations in the reply field below – the family will enjoy.

You may never have been to an actual adoption ceremony so here’s a tip: If you ever attend one … bring tissue.

Last month, when Kathy and Gary officially adopted their two boys, EVERYONE was so happy, they cried. The mom, the dad, all of the extended family members present, the entire MHC team, the social worker, the attorney, and yes, even the presiding clerk. It was just that kind of morning. We believe that every child deserves a chance – and happily, joyfully, with tears in our eyes, we celebrate with this new family.

They roll in to give what matters most When you’re away from home – and you can’t go home – a team of mother figures shows up at the door to give you some love. And you realize then, no matter what mistakes you made, someone is out there rooting for you.

Meet the Swansboro United Methodist Women.

From 45 minutes south, they drive caravan-style up Highway 17 to deliver comfort and encouragement to the boys at our Craven transitional living home: prize bags for field day, gift cards for Christmas, holiday comfort food, birthday cards, valentines, Easter lunch, pizza, wooly hats, homemade cookies.

And they want you to know something: They receive as much as they give.

“It’s not a matter of just giving,” says Marilyn Boyce. “Because when people give, it puts them in a superior position and, while we’re older than these children, this is a matter of
reciprocation. They give to us in ways they probably don’t really know.”

A couple of years ago, the Craven boys painted a serving platter with hearts and confetti colors; they glazed and fired it, and they gave it to the Swansboro women. That platter comes out at every single circle meeting – second Wednesday of the month – as a reminder of their friendship.

“We see so much hope in them,” says Gay Licko. “We get to share a little in the plans for their future. We are allowed to be part of it, and we feel welcomed.”

Two years ago, Mandy and Doug announced to friends that they were going to be foster parents. Their license had been approved, and they wondered what “mystery kids,” as their daughter, Darian, called them, would come.

Would they get a boy or a girl? Maybe a toddler, maybe a middle-schooler? Would it be one child or a sibling group? Tomorrow or months away?

It was exciting to think about, but bittersweet too. Before cancer took 5-year-old Denny, their son and brother, a liver transplant from another child had extended his life. They knew, as they poured their hopes and prayers into saving Denny, that someone else was grieving the unthinkable. Their own loss would come two years later.

Now they were preparing their hearts to love – and possibly lose – a child carrying his or her own grief, and they wondered what it would be. Loss of parents, home, siblings, school? What else?

Their mystery kid, it turns out, is named Isaiah.

Born into foster care, Isaiah was living in his third home, heading to his fourth, on that November day when Mandy and Doug announced their plans to foster. They would become his fifth and final home – a permanent family for a boy who loves soccer, running fast, holiday decorating, raking leaves, and visiting the beach. Isaiah’s adoption was completed in May.

Alexis, age 6; Jamie, age 5

They had done this. Kevin and Susan had raised three children into their teens already, so a couple of toddlers couldn’t do anything to surprise them. Right?

On his first day alone with Alexis and Jamie, Kevin turned his back for just a moment while the kids were in the kitchen. When he looked again, he saw the 2- and 3-year-olds “showering” in the water dispenser on the refrigerator.

The last time Kevin had parented preschoolers, his refrigerator didn’t even have a water dispenser. Now he and Susan were discovering all that had changed since their own teenagers were young – and suddenly remembering how relentless young children can be.

“They were everywhere,” Susan says.

Susan and Kevin were new to foster care then, but they were ready to jump back into the preschool hustle of car seats, diapers, and potty-training. They knew the first days with Alexis and Jamie would be chaotic. They were prepared for the demands of parenting neglected children who’d lost everything. Alexis missed her birth mother, and both struggled to sleep.

Today Alexis and Jamie are bright, happy kids – still everywhere, eager to try new things. They were adopted this summer and live every day secure in the love of their parents, Susan and Kevin, and their siblings Jacob, Emily, and Sam.

When a 7 year old child says, “Mom, I want to spread joy at Christmas” … when churches, families, Army Reservists, hoteliers, restaurants, schools, foundations, fitness clubs, hospitals, car dealerships, house cleaning services, radio stations, book stores, and friends on Facebook ALL join together to make sure our children and families have joy at Christmas, we are thankful. Your giving brings more joy than you can imagine.