Author: Jeannie Norris

They roll in to give what matters most When you’re away from home – and you can’t go home – a team of mother figures shows up at the door to give you some love. And you realize then, no matter what mistakes you made, someone is out there rooting for you.

Meet the Swansboro United Methodist Women.

From 45 minutes south, they drive caravan-style up Highway 17 to deliver comfort and encouragement to the boys at our Craven transitional living home: prize bags for field day, gift cards for Christmas, holiday comfort food, birthday cards, valentines, Easter lunch, pizza, wooly hats, homemade cookies.

And they want you to know something: They receive as much as they give.

“It’s not a matter of just giving,” says Marilyn Boyce. “Because when people give, it puts them in a superior position and, while we’re older than these children, this is a matter of
reciprocation. They give to us in ways they probably don’t really know.”

A couple of years ago, the Craven boys painted a serving platter with hearts and confetti colors; they glazed and fired it, and they gave it to the Swansboro women. That platter comes out at every single circle meeting – second Wednesday of the month – as a reminder of their friendship.

“We see so much hope in them,” says Gay Licko. “We get to share a little in the plans for their future. We are allowed to be part of it, and we feel welcomed.”

Two years ago, Mandy and Doug announced to friends that they were going to be foster parents. Their license had been approved, and they wondered what “mystery kids,” as their daughter, Darian, called them, would come.

Would they get a boy or a girl? Maybe a toddler, maybe a middle-schooler? Would it be one child or a sibling group? Tomorrow or months away?

It was exciting to think about, but bittersweet too. Before cancer took 5-year-old Denny, their son and brother, a liver transplant from another child had extended his life. They knew, as they poured their hopes and prayers into saving Denny, that someone else was grieving the unthinkable. Their own loss would come two years later.

Now they were preparing their hearts to love – and possibly lose – a child carrying his or her own grief, and they wondered what it would be. Loss of parents, home, siblings, school? What else?

Their mystery kid, it turns out, is named Isaiah.

Born into foster care, Isaiah was living in his third home, heading to his fourth, on that November day when Mandy and Doug announced their plans to foster. They would become his fifth and final home – a permanent family for a boy who loves soccer, running fast, holiday decorating, raking leaves, and visiting the beach. Isaiah’s adoption was completed in May.

Alexis, age 6; Jamie, age 5

They had done this. Kevin and Susan had raised three children into their teens already, so a couple of toddlers couldn’t do anything to surprise them. Right?

On his first day alone with Alexis and Jamie, Kevin turned his back for just a moment while the kids were in the kitchen. When he looked again, he saw the 2- and 3-year-olds “showering” in the water dispenser on the refrigerator.

The last time Kevin had parented preschoolers, his refrigerator didn’t even have a water dispenser. Now he and Susan were discovering all that had changed since their own teenagers were young – and suddenly remembering how relentless young children can be.

“They were everywhere,” Susan says.

Susan and Kevin were new to foster care then, but they were ready to jump back into the preschool hustle of car seats, diapers, and potty-training. They knew the first days with Alexis and Jamie would be chaotic. They were prepared for the demands of parenting neglected children who’d lost everything. Alexis missed her birth mother, and both struggled to sleep.

Today Alexis and Jamie are bright, happy kids – still everywhere, eager to try new things. They were adopted this summer and live every day secure in the love of their parents, Susan and Kevin, and their siblings Jacob, Emily, and Sam.

When a 7 year old child says, “Mom, I want to spread joy at Christmas” … when churches, families, Army Reservists, hoteliers, restaurants, schools, foundations, fitness clubs, hospitals, car dealerships, house cleaning services, radio stations, book stores, and friends on Facebook ALL join together to make sure our children and families have joy at Christmas, we are thankful. Your giving brings more joy than you can imagine.

Lessons in belonging

You need to know that you matter.

He is a teenager who captured the hearts of our staff. He had no place to go; he believed he had no one who cared. We showed him otherwise.

Meet Owen.

• He is 17 years old.
• His mother left him when he was 1.
• Sometimes he lived with an aunt, but he spent most of his childhood with a guardian – the ex-husband of his mother’s sister (a different aunt) – whom he called “uncle.”
• He came to our multipurpose home at age 16 for stealing his uncle’s truck.
• His uncle is remarried, and Owen is no longer welcome in his home.
• He gave our staff teacher a coffee mug and candy for Mother’s Day.
• He discovered his own mother lived 15 miles away as he worked on a family tree project.
• He wants to build a relationship with her.
• He moved into our transitional living home last May to learn how to be independent.
• For his birthday, we gave him a BMX bike.
• He loves to read and keeps at least four books by his bed.
• He earned his GED and forklift certification while he lived with us.
• He worked hard in his first job at a fast-food restaurant.
• He left us this spring and lives now with his 24-year-old cousin.
• He doesn’t think his life is harder than that of other kids he knows.
• He’s working at a bike shop, and he just got a promotion.
• One day, he wants to go to college.

We will be here for him.